Stress
Stress...or breaking point?
Everyone gets stressed sometimes. It’s a natural part of life. Bills to pay, deadlines to meet, responsibilities to uphold, children to look after, work, relationships, health… the list can seem endless.
Stress can be a good thing in small amounts – it can often help motivate us to do more… but in huge amounts it can becoming overbearing and damaging to both emotional and physical health. At this point stress can become ‘distress’ and needs to be dealt with.
Stress is the body's response to the demands placed upon it. If stress is not addressed, then it can spiral out of control and lead to serious physical problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes, as well as emotional repercussions such as depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses.
Stress can be a good thing in small amounts – it can often help motivate us to do more… but in huge amounts it can becoming overbearing and damaging to both emotional and physical health. At this point stress can become ‘distress’ and needs to be dealt with.
Stress is the body's response to the demands placed upon it. If stress is not addressed, then it can spiral out of control and lead to serious physical problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes, as well as emotional repercussions such as depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses.
Emotional symptoms may include:
Irritability, anxiety, depression, constant worrying, low self esteem, emotional outbursts, racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, and mood swings, feeling unsociable
Physical symptoms may include:
Headaches, stomach aches, sleeping problems, change in appetite, drinking or smoking more, muscle tension and pain, increased sweating, feeling dizzy, breathlessness dry mouth and sexual problems
Physical symptoms may include:
Headaches, stomach aches, sleeping problems, change in appetite, drinking or smoking more, muscle tension and pain, increased sweating, feeling dizzy, breathlessness dry mouth and sexual problems
Self help and coping techniques
When you are under a lot of stress, it may feel like you cannot do anything to make it better. Bills keep coming, arguments keep happening, work keeps piling up… you may feel like everything is spiralling out of control - but actually the feeling of being powerless only intensifies the stress and makes everything appear much worse than it actually is. Gaining a sense of control and a clearer perspective (which you can have – even though it may not feel like it right now) are key factors in helping you to regain order over your life and to reduce stress to healthy levels
Below are some tips that you may find useful to help you manage stress more effectively:
Learn to say NO!
Its one of the shortest words in the dictionary, with only one syllable and two letters, but yet it can be one of the hardest words to say! Often it can be hard to say no to something someone is asking you to do, whether it be a boss, a friend, a spouse…or whoever! You may feel that you are letting them down if you say no, or that you may appear incompetent. But everyone has limits and it is best to know what you can do and stick to your guns. Accepting more and more work/responsibility on top of what you can just about already manage will only increase stress levels which will then inevitably reduce efficiency levels. You cannot do a job well, if you are tired, stressed and unwell. It is better to do what you can well, than to do everything badly.
Surround yourself with positive people
Being with positive people can have a positive effect on you! There is a saying – ‘You are who you keep company with’ Have you noticed people who spend a lot of time together tend to become similar to each other? Old couples who have been together for years start to look and sound like each other… best friends can finish each others sentences… people who ‘hang out’ with each other often start to dress alike, sound alike and think alike.. – Make sure the people who are influencing you – are good people! Positive people will help you think more positively and feel more positive. A positive environment will help you to better deal with your stress than a negative one
Prioritise and cut down your to do list
Order your never ending ‘to - do list’ into manageable sections. Prioritise what needs to be done first and then work your way down. Take out things that are not absolutely necessary. Differentiate between things that ‘must be done’ and things that ‘should be done.’
Time management
Set yourself realistic time scales to get things done – this will help reduce the stress of trying to get everything done at once. Don’t forget to pencil in time for breaks!
Look at the bigger picture
Taking a step back and seeing your problems from a healthy fresh perspective can go along way in helping you to manage stress levels. Often when you look at the bigger picture, problems can be seen in a clearer perspective. Paying bills, meeting deadlines, work stress… all our day to day problems which stress us out so much, may all pale in significance when compared to some of the problems people less fortunate than us face everyday around the world…starvation…war…famine, drought…all these things can help us remember how fortunate we really are and reduce how we tend to stress about our own problems.
At first the picture below may look like just a pretty landscape picture, but if you take a step back and look closely...see how many horses you can find! Looking at things from a different perspective can make a huge difference!
At first the picture below may look like just a pretty landscape picture, but if you take a step back and look closely...see how many horses you can find! Looking at things from a different perspective can make a huge difference!
Nobody is perfect
Perfectionism can increase stress, as not only do you have so much to do, but you add more to the task in hand, by wanting it all done ‘perfectly.’ Nothing is perfect so stop striving for what is impossible – you will only stress yourself out for no reason! Set realistic expectations for yourself and others and you will start to notice the difference.
Change what you can and accept what you cannot
Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behaviour of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems. There are certain things we can change to reduce stress levels such as lifestyle, diet, bad habits, etc, but there are things that we cannot no change no matter how much we want to…bereavement, a terminal illness, a national recession, natural disasters.…trying to change the unchangeable will only end in defeat. The best way to deal with what we cannot change is to accept it (as difficult as it may be) and move forward.
Share the burden
Asking other people for help is nothing to be ashamed of. Often people are more willing to help than we think. But people can’t help us if we don’t let them know that we are struggling with. Don’t be afraid to ask for a helping hand. It doesn’t make you weak or incompetent. In fact it makes you a stronger person, because you are not afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Its good to talk
Share your thoughts, worries and feelings. Talk to someone you can trust…maybe a friend, a loved one, a colleague, a counsellor… getting it all off your chest can be very therapeutic and give you a sense of release, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.
Time out
Make sure you have a break at some point each day just to do something you enjoy. It could be something as simple as going for a walk or reading your favourite book…it may not seem like much but can make a world of difference
Keep your sense of humor.
When you are stressed - laughing is probably the last thing you feel like doing. But being able to maintain a sense of humour and being able to laugh at yourself and situations can be a big help in not letting troubles overwhelm you. Laughing also helps the body to release natural ‘feel good’ endorphins which can make shift your mood, in turn helping you to deal with your problems more constructively. As they say “its better to laugh than to cry!”
Life style changes
Changes to diet and getting more exercise may sound tedious, but can have a great effect on alleviating stress. Exercise helps the body to release natural ‘feel good’ endorphins and will give you more stamina and energy (which is helpful when you’re under stress and have a million and one things to do!) If you’re not a fan on exercise (yes I that would include me) try beating up a punch bag and take out all your frustrations on the thing. It’s a great way to vent your stress and get fit at the same time! Have a look at the ‘fun exercise’ page of this website and check out more ideas on how to make exercise an exciting activity instead of a chore.
Diet can also help with energy levels, and eating foods that have slow release energy can give you the stamina you need to get things done. Healthy eating will also help to reduce the risk of high blood pressure and heart disease which are common problems associated with prolonged stress. Health eating doesn’t necessarily mean cutting out all the foods you like – its about balancing what you eat. So the good news is you can still eat cakes, chocolate and other scrumptious stuff, but in moderation, and in balance with healthy things like pasta, rice, fruit etc. experiment with different recipes and you never know – you might just love it! Check out my ‘Mood Food’ page for more on this topic
Diet can also help with energy levels, and eating foods that have slow release energy can give you the stamina you need to get things done. Healthy eating will also help to reduce the risk of high blood pressure and heart disease which are common problems associated with prolonged stress. Health eating doesn’t necessarily mean cutting out all the foods you like – its about balancing what you eat. So the good news is you can still eat cakes, chocolate and other scrumptious stuff, but in moderation, and in balance with healthy things like pasta, rice, fruit etc. experiment with different recipes and you never know – you might just love it! Check out my ‘Mood Food’ page for more on this topic
Get a good nights kip!
When you are stressed, it may seem feel like you have so much to do that there is simply no time to sleep! But having a good snooze is essential to helping you restore the vital energy to get through the day. It may feel more productive to stay up late and get things done, but over time this will actually make your stress worse as your mind and body become deprived of the rest it needs. It is better to get the sleep you need and wake up refreshed, than to work through the night, or stay up late, then wake up sluggish and tired the next day. Bad sleep habits can leave you feeling tired, low in energy and irritable, which can all reduce your ability to deal with stress.For more information getting a good nights sleep see my page on ‘insomnia’
Relaxation techniques
Learning to simply relax and unwind can be an invaluable way to combat stress. Breathing exercises, massages, yoga... are all ways in which we can alleviate stress. For more ideas and information see the ‘alternative techniques’ page of this website
Counseling
Talking though your problems can help you to deal with stress more effectively. It may help you to address unresolved issues, see problems from a different perspective and even just get things off your chest. Counselors are professionally trained to encourage you to discuss your feelings and they can help you find solutions to your problems. They can also help you learn coping techniques. There are different types of counseling available, don’t be discouraged if one does not help – everyone is different and different methods will suit different people. Quite often it is through trial and error that we find what works best for you. Personally, I tried practically every type of counseling that ever existed and nearly gave up hope that anything could help me, but then I discovered CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and that proved to be an invaluable tool in helping me to better deal with my mental illnesses’
Support groups
Being able to identify and relate to others who share similar problems to you can be a great help. Feeling alone only intensifies your problems. Talking to people in the same boat as you can give you the much needed encouragement and understanding - that others who have not been in your situation are unable to give.
Medication
Medication can be beneficial if stress is causing other problems such as and anxiety. Medication can offer relief in the short term but they are not a cure for stress.
More Information
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Stress/Pages/Introduction.aspx
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/mental_health/mind_stress.shtml
http://www.hse.gov.uk/stress (work related stress)
http://www.stress.org.uk/index1.aspx (stress management society)
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/emotions/stress.html (for young people)