Different Types of Therapy
and Counselling
There are many different types of therapy and finding the right one for you can make the world of difference to helping you through your journey of recovery. I almost gave up on counseling after several rather disastrous experiences with counselors and different styles of therapy. This is my story:
When I first was referred to counseling after being diagnosed with depression, I really struggled to find the right therapy for me. I thought all counseling was pretty much the same i.e. lying on a huge couch and pouring out my problems to some poor counselor who would have to sit there and listen. Little did I know there was a whole range of counseling styles out there and that I just needed to find the right one for me. When my GP referred me to counseling, I was shocked at the waiting list. I was told it would be at least 6-8 weeks before I could be seen…. this made no sense to me whatsoever! If someone is desperate in enough to admit they have a problem and seek help then surely it seems not quite right that they would need to wait such a long time to get the help they so desperately need! Considering depression is one of the highest causes of suicide, waiting a minimum of 6 – 8 weeks can seem like a life sentence for a person who is suffering from a mental illness such as depression.
My Story: Part 1
Because I was in such a terrible state, I couldn’t wait around, so I started seeing a private counselor. The good thing with private counselors is that there is hardly ever a waiting list, however the bad thing is that it comes with a pretty high price tag! I found myself paying over £30 for an hour session and after weeks of appointments I just couldn’t afford to keep it up. At the same time, this was my first experience with counseling – and it wasn’t a good one.
The first type of therapy I encountered was psychoanalytical therapy. I no idea that this style of therapy involved tapping into the subconscious mind and exploring issues from my childhood and past. As a result, I was once quite surprised when the therapist used rather unconventional techniques to try and help me do that! One of the ‘unusual’ techniques the therapist used was to make me imagine myself as a child and to keep that image in my pocket… to then take ‘little me’ out and imagine hugging it, whenever I felt insecure or anxious! I found this incredibly strange (and not all particularly helpful) but the therapist explained that she thought I had been traumatized in childhood and by reassuring my ‘child self’ I would also be reassuring my ‘grown up self.’ The actual result was nothing of the sort and I just felt even crazier that when I went in! I though ‘gosh I must have really lost my mind for a therapist to use something so strange to try and help me!’ The therapist tried several other what felt to me ‘strange’ techniques, but to no avail. Everything seemed to just make me feel worse and wasn’t helping me with my depression and anxiety at all. On top of that, the counselor was constantly glancing at her clock whilst I was talking and always insisted on finishing sessions bang on the minute every time - even if I was in mid sentence. This gave me the impression that she was more concerned about money and seeing as many clients as she could, than actually caring about me and my problems. This was extremely distressing, as it was mentally exhausting rying out all her 'techniques' and talking about all my problems – and then to have someone not really care – which just made me feel a million times worse. I knew the time had come for me to leave, there seemed no sense in continuing sessions that was csting me a arm, leg and foot, for it to only make me worse than when I had started. With an empty pocket and an empty experience, I
decided to sit out the seemingly never ending waiting list for counseling on the NHS. This was not quick, nor ideal but I felt I had no other choice.
The first type of therapy I encountered was psychoanalytical therapy. I no idea that this style of therapy involved tapping into the subconscious mind and exploring issues from my childhood and past. As a result, I was once quite surprised when the therapist used rather unconventional techniques to try and help me do that! One of the ‘unusual’ techniques the therapist used was to make me imagine myself as a child and to keep that image in my pocket… to then take ‘little me’ out and imagine hugging it, whenever I felt insecure or anxious! I found this incredibly strange (and not all particularly helpful) but the therapist explained that she thought I had been traumatized in childhood and by reassuring my ‘child self’ I would also be reassuring my ‘grown up self.’ The actual result was nothing of the sort and I just felt even crazier that when I went in! I though ‘gosh I must have really lost my mind for a therapist to use something so strange to try and help me!’ The therapist tried several other what felt to me ‘strange’ techniques, but to no avail. Everything seemed to just make me feel worse and wasn’t helping me with my depression and anxiety at all. On top of that, the counselor was constantly glancing at her clock whilst I was talking and always insisted on finishing sessions bang on the minute every time - even if I was in mid sentence. This gave me the impression that she was more concerned about money and seeing as many clients as she could, than actually caring about me and my problems. This was extremely distressing, as it was mentally exhausting rying out all her 'techniques' and talking about all my problems – and then to have someone not really care – which just made me feel a million times worse. I knew the time had come for me to leave, there seemed no sense in continuing sessions that was csting me a arm, leg and foot, for it to only make me worse than when I had started. With an empty pocket and an empty experience, I
decided to sit out the seemingly never ending waiting list for counseling on the NHS. This was not quick, nor ideal but I felt I had no other choice.
My Story: Part 2
My second experience of counseling was unfortunately almost just as bad. I had psychotherapy – which is a type of therapy which focuses on exploring the past and addressing any unresolved issues. As I wasn’t aware there were different styles of therapy, I thought this how all counseling worked. I had been waiting so long just to be seen (the waiting list felt never ending) that I had pinned all hopes on this ‘miracle counseling’ which would take away all my troubles and help me to be free from the prison of my depression. Everyone always spoke of counseling as the best thing for depression and every self help book/website I came across recommended it. However, when I started my sessions with the counselor I soon began to sink lower in my depression as I realised it wasn’t helping me at all – but in fact making things worse. I couldn’t understand it! Counseling was meant to be the cure! It seemed to work for everybody else….why wasn’t it working for me? I felt like dragging up my past was not helping me to deal with my present situation at all. It made no sense to me to spend so much time talking about what had happened in the past, when all I wanted to do, was sort myself out in the present and concentrate on a better future for myself. It was incredibly frustrating and when I explained my feeling to the counselor, she didn’t understand at all. This just made the whole experience even more exasperating and I knew in my heart this want helping me. After trying to give therapy more time, and attending several more frustrating and upsetting sessions, I made the decision to leave. I was so afraid – if the number one recommended treatment for depression had failed me – then what could possibly help me now?
My Story: Part 3
I sank further and deeper in to depression and in my sheer desperation I tried everything in every self help book…every self help website…anything I couldn’t possibly get my hands on. It was like I was clutching at straws, anything I hadn’t tried – gave me a small glimmer of hope – that I might get better. I just wanted the mental torture that depression was inflicting on me to stop, but the torment never seemed to end, no matter how many things I tried to make things better.
I tried so many things, and nothing seemed to help. The more my attempts to get better failed – the more I lost any small glimmer of hope I had left. My family and friends could see I was getting worse and tried to persuade me to try counseling again. But because of my bad experiences – I didn’t want to go through it again. What was the point of putting myself through something that made me feel worse instead of better – like it was supposed to? But after endless pushing and pestering from my loved ones, I finally decided to give it another shot. This time however, I did thorough research and background reading on different counselors and discovered that there were a whole range of therapy styles to choose from! This was a revelation to me and pivotal turning point in my journey to recovery. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) was something I had never heard of, but after doing in depth research, I felt like I had finally found something that could finally help me. Instead of focusing on the past like the other therapy I had tried, CBT focuses on the present and dealing with the here and now. CBT is also a very proactive style of counseling, which includes a lot of input and involvement with the patient. CBT completely changed my view on counseling and equipped me with the essential tools I needed to manage my depression.
I tried so many things, and nothing seemed to help. The more my attempts to get better failed – the more I lost any small glimmer of hope I had left. My family and friends could see I was getting worse and tried to persuade me to try counseling again. But because of my bad experiences – I didn’t want to go through it again. What was the point of putting myself through something that made me feel worse instead of better – like it was supposed to? But after endless pushing and pestering from my loved ones, I finally decided to give it another shot. This time however, I did thorough research and background reading on different counselors and discovered that there were a whole range of therapy styles to choose from! This was a revelation to me and pivotal turning point in my journey to recovery. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) was something I had never heard of, but after doing in depth research, I felt like I had finally found something that could finally help me. Instead of focusing on the past like the other therapy I had tried, CBT focuses on the present and dealing with the here and now. CBT is also a very proactive style of counseling, which includes a lot of input and involvement with the patient. CBT completely changed my view on counseling and equipped me with the essential tools I needed to manage my depression.
We Are All Unique
We are all different and what helps one person may not help the other. Counseling can be a bit like a game of trial and error. Ironically for me, the last counseling I had was the one that help need me the most - and I wish I had known about it first. If I had the knowledge and awareness of different styles of counseling before I was thrown into the deep end, then a lot of distress could have been avoided.
On this page I will be exploring the different types of counseling that are available and I hope that this will prevent someone else form having to go through the arduous journey I went through to get the help I needed.
On this page I will be exploring the different types of counseling that are available and I hope that this will prevent someone else form having to go through the arduous journey I went through to get the help I needed.
Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy involves exploring your past, in order to help you with your problems in the present. Psychotherapy can be a longer process than other forms of therapy and aims to get to the roots of your issues, by attempting to address unresolved issues. Psychotherapy can be useful for helping people with long-term or recurring problems to find the cause of their difficulties.
Psychoanalysis
This style of therapy stems back to the theories of Sigmund Freud. Freud believed that people could be helped by gaining insight into their subconscious thoughts and feelings. The aim of this therapy is to release repressed emotions and experiences by making the unconscious conscious. psychoanalytic therapists listen to patients talk about their lives, and look for patterns or significant events that may play a role in the client’s current difficulties. Psychoanalysts believe that childhood events, unconscious thoughts and feelings, play a role a patients current problems. Psychoanalysis is commonly used to treat depression and anxiety disorders. This type of therapy is usually long term and may take years before patients fully benefit from its effects
Psychodynamic Therapy
Like psychotherapy, psychodynamic therapy believes that everyone has an unconscious mind (subconscious) and that the more the patient becomes aware of the thoughts, feelings and experiences held in the unconscious mind, the more they can better deal with their issues. psychodynamic therapists tend to emphasize the important of the "frame," insight, and interpretations. The ‘frame’ is the therapeutic setting, e.g. time, length and location of therapy. Therapist offer their ‘interpretations’ in a attempt to give an explanation to the patient to help them understand why they may feel, act or behave the way in which they do. This can help the patient gain ‘insight’ and help them understand themselves and their situations more effectively.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT is a very proactive style of therapy, which encourages the participant to be very active in their own recovery. CBT as the name suggests - focuses on changing negative behaviors and patterns of thinking. Unlike psychotherapy, CBT focuses on the present and equips users with the tools needed to help them deal with their problems more effectively. CBT has been shown to work very well for a variety of mental health problems, in particular, depression, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder and eating disorders. CBT can take place face to face with a therapist and also as course modules in self help books and websites.
Expressive or Creative Arts Therapy
This style of therapy uses art, drama, dance, music and anything creative to help people to express themselves and to deal with their issues in a productive and expressive way. This type of therapy may be particularly useful for people who do not suit talk therapy
Group Therapy
This style of therapy allows groups to meet together with a therapist and is a useful way for people who share common problems to come together and support each other. People who are or have been ‘in the same boat’ are well equipped to understand each other’s plight and give support that others cannot give. The sense of unity also helps people to remember that they are not struggling alone and there is strength in numbers. Some people will find this type of therapy suits them better than one on one counseling, as they are part of a group instead of alone.
Family Therapy
As the name implies, this therapy focuses on families, and explores relationships, different views, and problems that the family may be experiencing. The therapist aims to help families to communicate and resolve issues more effectively. Family therapy can be used for a variety of issues, particularly divorce, step-family life, domestic violence and drug or alcohol addiction.
Couples Therapy
This type of therapy can help with relationship problems and improve communication between couples and spouses. This style of therapy can be particularly useful when a relationship is in crisis, e.g. after an affair, a break up, a dispute etc. Both partners can express their views in a safe environment with a counselor ensuring that the situation does not escalate out of hand. The counselor can act as a mediator to help both partners understand, communicate and work on their issues more effectively.
What to Expect in Therapy and Counselling
Counselling and therapy can be frightening if you are new to it and so being aware of what to expect can help you feel more at ease with the experience. There are so many different styles of therapy, but most share several similarities:
- Most therapy sessions usually last around 1 hour.
- Therapy sessions usually take place once a week (although this can be more frequent depending on individual needs)
- Therapy is always confidential (unless the person is in danger of harming themselves or someone else – in which case confidentiality may be breached in order to protect the person in danger, e.g. a ambulance may be called etc )
How to get the most out of counselling
Do not be embarrassed or ashamed…
When I first started going to counseling I was afraid that people would think that I was ‘crazy’ or ‘mental.’ I mean that’s what media portrays isn’t it? People who need counseling usually have ‘a screw missing’ or are ‘not right in the head.’ All these preconceptions and stereotypes made me feel ashamed and embarrassed that I had been referred to the mental health team and counseling. Although the intervention was meant to help me with my depression and anxiety disorder, the initial thought of having to have therapy made my condition worse, as I believed that I truly was ‘crazy.’ But as I started to attend sessions, I realized that therapy is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact it something to be proud of! People who attend therapy are wise enough to admit that they have a problem and they are brave enough to get help for it! Many people run away from their problems and never actually face up to their issues, but people who actually can admit their weakness and then work to turn them into strengths can only be commended. So hold your head high when you go to counseling and remember you’re of the brave ones!
It’s a joint effort!
Counselling is not a miracle cure (no matter how much we may want it to be!) Therapy is a pro-active process that requires a lot of input from the participant for it to be beneficial. The therapist can assist you in your recovery, but they cannot do the hard work for you. The majority of the outcome depends on you and how much effort you put into it! Remember most sessions are only one hour long, once a week, the rest of the time you need to be implementing techniques and coping strategies explored in therapy into real life.
Choose the right therapy and therapist for you!
This is so important! The right style of therapy and the right therapist will make a world of difference in helping you through your journey to recovery. Do researchj in to what types of therapy are available and then choose one which you feel is best suited to you and your needs. Finding the right therapist is also vital. Being able to feel comfortable with who you are sharing your personal problems with is essential to helping you open up and explore your issues most effectively. It may take a few sessions to get a feel as to whether or not the relationship between your self and the therapist is a good fit or not, - if you find you are not comfortable, or that the connection does not feel right, then do not be afraid to move on and find someone that will be able to help you better. At the end of the day, the therapy is for you – don’t be afraid of hurting people’s feelings, do what you need to do, to make your therapy the most beneficial it can be.
Therapy can be a painful process
Therapy can bring up painful memories, thought and feelings that we may not want to deal with. But sometimes in order for us to make our current situations better, we may need to deal with painful things in the past or present that are hindering us from moving forward. It okay to get upset, it okay to cry. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed to express you emotions. It may feel horrible, but it is good for you. Releasing pent up emotions can be a much needed release and getting things out in the open will help the therapist and yourself to better deal with the problems and issues at hand. It may sound like a contradiction – why is therapy painful when its supposed to help? But most things that are good for us are painful. Like a mother giving birth to her child, she has to go through the terrible pain of labour before she can bring her beautiful child into the world. So it is with personal growth. For something new and beautiful to come out of something sad and dreadful, there is a process. And although the process can be painful – there is something good at the end. The road ahead may not be smooth and there may be many many ditches ahead – but remember it is all part of the journey.
Be as open and as honest as you can
It can be difficult opening up and sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with a stranger. But because the therapist is not a family member or close friend, they can offer you objective and fresh views on your problems. They can help you to see your issues form a different perspective and resolve them in ways you may not have thought about. But for them to be able to do this, they need you to be as honest and as open as you can be. Don’t be afraid of saying something ‘stupid’ or sounding ‘silly.’ The therapist is not there to judge you – they are there to help you. I used to feel afraid to tell my counsellor certain things – I was scared that they would think I was ‘weird’ or ‘strange.’ But by holding back….I was only holding back my own progress. When I did eventually open up, I was surprised about how calm and ‘unshocked’ the therapist was. Counsellors have experience dealing with a whole range of different issues, and have the knowledge and skills to help. It’s like going to the doctor with a embarrassing problem. You feel anxious and afraid to talk, and you may skirt around the subject, but without feeling him what the problem is – he won’t be able to help you. Like therapists, doctors come across embarrassing ‘strange’ ‘weird’ problems everyday. It the norm, for them! so be as open as you can and ‘open’ more opportunities for help!
Be committed
It may feel tempting to skip sessions - ‘oh its only one session…’ ‘But I’m so busy’ etc etc, and I admit I have been guilty of this crime myself. It may feel like a chore sometimes, but progress is a gradual process and needs consistency and perseverance. If you are finding it difficult or distressing to attend sessions then it may be helpful to discuss this with your therapist and work out a way together to make it a more comfortable and productive experience for the both of you.
More Information
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/counselling/Pages/Typesoftherapy.aspx
http://helpguide.org/mental/psychotherapy_therapist_counseling.htm
http://www.psychotherapy.org.uk
http://psychology.about.com/od/psychotherapy/a/treattypes.htm
http://psychcentral.com/therapy.htm
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/psychotherapies/index.shtml
http://www.bacp.co.uk/seeking_therapist/theoretical_approaches.php
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/
http://www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/
http://counsellinguk.org/article.php?id=331&name=Free+Counselling+Directory
http://helpguide.org/mental/psychotherapy_therapist_counseling.htm
http://www.psychotherapy.org.uk
http://psychology.about.com/od/psychotherapy/a/treattypes.htm
http://psychcentral.com/therapy.htm
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/psychotherapies/index.shtml
http://www.bacp.co.uk/seeking_therapist/theoretical_approaches.php
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/
http://www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/
http://counsellinguk.org/article.php?id=331&name=Free+Counselling+Directory