Personal Advice From Me to You...
1. Accept the Anxiety...
The first reaction and instinct for a anxiety sufferer may often be to try and ‘fight ‘off the anxiety. But although this seems to make sense in theory, often this can actually make things worse. The constant struggle to battle with the incessant thoughts and anxious feelings within, can leave the sufferer mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted, which only then compounds the situation Hard as it may sound, try and accept the anxiety. By doing this you can stop the on going battle within yourself that just goes round and round in a vicious cycle. Instead by learning to accept the anxiety, you can not only learn to live with it, but you can also begin to turn a ‘weakness’ into ‘strength.’ The more you go through, the more you can help people who may be going through a similar situation.
2. Racing Mind...
Another symptom of GAD is a racing mind that feels like it is on fast forward or constant overdrive. Often, GAD sufferers ruminate endlessly trying to figure out a ‘solution’ or ‘answer’ to their problems. Although this may seem like a productive thing to do, it can actually make the condition worse. When I was at the height of my GAD, I couldn’t switch off at all, and I found myself constantly trying to figure out a way out of my condition. I found myself trying out countless options in an attempt to find something that would finally free me from my turmoil.
But everything I tried seemed to only help for a short period of time and the ugly feelings and endless ruminating would just return again with a vengeance. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle and every failed attempt to gain victory was another crushing blow that made me feel like I was fast running out of options and fast running out of hope. Ironically, I only started to recover after I gave up the fight to keep fighting. At first I was terrified of not soldiering on as I was afraid that if I stopped trying to get better, then I would sink even further and never get back up. But years of determination to recover had not helped, so I had nothing to lose by trying the opposite.
When I realised that what I was suffering from was actually a mental illness (GAD) I was finally able to stop the search for solutions and answers. Strange as it may sound, it was actually a huge relief to know that there was something wrong with me! For years, I had thought I was losing my mind and going crazy, but when I discovered that in actual fact I had a condition, it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I knew now, that I wasn’t alone and that there were thousands of people out there who were in the same boat as me. This new found knowledge helped me to accept that my racing mind (and other symptoms) were simply trait of GAD and instead of fighting it and trying to find a way to make it better, I could simply just accept it as part of my condition and let the ugly feelings and thoughts pass. This helped me incredibly and although it was by no means easy (and sometimes the thoughts and feelings still drive me insane) I am able to much better cope and deal with my GAD with less effort than ever before and better results than ever before!
But everything I tried seemed to only help for a short period of time and the ugly feelings and endless ruminating would just return again with a vengeance. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle and every failed attempt to gain victory was another crushing blow that made me feel like I was fast running out of options and fast running out of hope. Ironically, I only started to recover after I gave up the fight to keep fighting. At first I was terrified of not soldiering on as I was afraid that if I stopped trying to get better, then I would sink even further and never get back up. But years of determination to recover had not helped, so I had nothing to lose by trying the opposite.
When I realised that what I was suffering from was actually a mental illness (GAD) I was finally able to stop the search for solutions and answers. Strange as it may sound, it was actually a huge relief to know that there was something wrong with me! For years, I had thought I was losing my mind and going crazy, but when I discovered that in actual fact I had a condition, it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I knew now, that I wasn’t alone and that there were thousands of people out there who were in the same boat as me. This new found knowledge helped me to accept that my racing mind (and other symptoms) were simply trait of GAD and instead of fighting it and trying to find a way to make it better, I could simply just accept it as part of my condition and let the ugly feelings and thoughts pass. This helped me incredibly and although it was by no means easy (and sometimes the thoughts and feelings still drive me insane) I am able to much better cope and deal with my GAD with less effort than ever before and better results than ever before!
3. Ants!
ANTS! – stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts. GAD can cause us to become so used to thinking certain negative thoughts that they can actually start happening automatically without us even realising it! Just as we can get stuck in bad habits in everyday life like smoking, comfort eating, nail biting etc…and we do that without thinking…it is the same with our minds. The more we think something – the more it will be ingrained in the wiring of our minds and the more it will become a habit. However – all habits can be broken! We need to re- train our brain and create new positive habits to replace the old bad habits. Over time, the new habits will start to become automatic and the mind will begin to think more positively instead of negatively. Give it a go! Trust me – it helps!
4. Nothing is Perfect...
Perfectionism is classic symptom of GAD and this often aggravates the anxiety as sufferers set unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. GAD suffers often expect 100% of themselves, 100% of the time. But this unrealistic aim only causes more stress and anxiety as nothing and no one can ever be perfect. By accepting this and learning to be grateful for what you have (instead of what you don’t) can really help to ease the effects of GAD. I used to think I could never be truly happy until I could completely get rid of all my mental illnesses, and so I used to fight and battle everyday with it, in the hope that one day it would finally be beaten and be gone forever. But I have come to accept that my mental illnesses may always be with me for all of my life, and instead of letting that break me, I choose to turn my weaknesses into strengths. I now use my own experiences to help others, because no one can help another sufferer better, than someone who has been there themselves. By accepting myself fully for who I am, (even the all the parts I’d rather get rid of!) I have found a sense of peace as I am no longer fighting against myself.
5. Don't Worry about...Worry!
Another characteristic of GAD is ‘worrying about worrying.’ This is when the sufferer is struggling with severe anxious thoughts/feelings and then begins to worry about feeling that way. They may start to become anxious that the intense excessive worry may lead to something even worse, like a heart attack, a panic attack or a alopecia. The fear can becoming overwhelming and adds to the initial worry, making the cycle even more vicious and difficult to escape from. I find being aware helps me to deal with this ‘worry about worry’ trait. When I feel anxious, instead of panicking that something awful may happen because of it, I simply remind myself that it is merely a symptom of my condition and I just let the anxiety pass. The anxiety is unpleasant, but will eventually pass. Don’t get sucked into the vicious spiral of worrying about worrying, all it does is escalate your anxiety and drain you. I used to think I was going mad and that I had to have something wrong with me, a horrible condition maybe that no one had yet discovered, I was convinced there was something badly wrong, but just couldn’t figure out what (at this point I didn’t yet know I had GAD). But what I didn’t realise is that it was the ANXIETY that was making me think there was something awful wrong with me. The problem is the ANXIETY! And this realisation makes everything less frightening, as you begin to recognise the symptoms of your condition and learn to manage and gain control over it
6. You Can Do It!
Having positive affirmations that you can repeat to yourself in times of intense anxiety attacks can help calm the body and mind and enable you to regain control over your thoughts and feelings. Positive affirmations such as ‘I can get through this’ ‘I’m not going to let this control me… I am in control over me’ can be repeated over and over until you begin to feel calmer and can be a extremely helpful technique to use if times of high anxiety. Find positve affirmations that work for you personally and use these to help yourself
7. Snow Ball Effect
GAD can snowball in to other conditions such as insomnia, alopecia, fatigue, a weakened immune system…depression, weight loss/gain… the list can go on and on, intensifying the original illness that was there in the first place. What once seemed a small problem can quickly escalate and snowball into a very big problem! As a result GAD can be incredibly difficult to detect and diagnose as it can be so well masked by the off shooting symptoms. For many years I was diagnosed with a whole range of A – Z of health conditions including insomnia, depression, nausea, fatigue, digestive problems... my medical file grew and grew and grew - but I never really got much better because only my ‘symptoms’ were being treated and not the real cause – which was the GAD. Now I finally know that what is wrong with me –I can really now begin to get better. Because without knowing what you have – how can you even begin to fight it and recover?
8. Get a Diagnosis
For a lot of GAD sufferers they may worry that there is something terribly wrong with them but are unable to fit a name or label to what they are feeling. Not knowing what is wrong with you can make the anxiety worse as you begin to speculate that you have all kinds of mysterious diseases! For many years I didn’t know I had GAD – I hadn’t even heard of it! I didn’t understand why I felt the way I did and why I was struggling so much. I used to spend endless hours searching on the internet different mental illnesses and trying to see which one best described me – and although I could identify with some aspects of different conditions - I could never seem to find a proper ‘fit.’ Getting a diagnosis was a break through for me ...a real turning point.
I no longer felt like a freak with a 'no name' disease... (at one point i got so frustrated I actually decided to call my 'unknown' condition after myself - yes sad but true) Getting a diagnosis not only meant being able to put a name to my condition - but it also helped me to realise thatI wasnt alone anymore and I could finally start getting the help and treatment I needed. Talk to your doctor or counsellor about GAD… read up about GAD…talk to other GAD sufferers…the more you know - the more power you have to make a real change!
I no longer felt like a freak with a 'no name' disease... (at one point i got so frustrated I actually decided to call my 'unknown' condition after myself - yes sad but true) Getting a diagnosis not only meant being able to put a name to my condition - but it also helped me to realise thatI wasnt alone anymore and I could finally start getting the help and treatment I needed. Talk to your doctor or counsellor about GAD… read up about GAD…talk to other GAD sufferers…the more you know - the more power you have to make a real change!
9. Be the Miracle!
I used to spend all my time wishing and dreaming for a miracle…the miracle that would take all my suffering and struggles away. The miracle that would allow me to wake up and no longer be held bound by my mental illnesses. The wishing and waiting and wanting just led to more frustration, disappointment and anger…until I realised that – You don’t need to wait for a miracle – you can be the miracle! Waiting for a miracle…why wait for what may never come? Instead ‘be the miracle!’ It took a man with no limbs to help me realise this humbling truth. Nick Vujicic (you can see clips of him on youtube) helped me to see that I don’t need to wish and wait for a miracle to happen – I can be the miracle! Nick has no arms or legs and he spent most of his life wishing and praying for a miracle….but then he became the very miracle he was waiting so long for! How? He didn’t get the limbs he so badly wished for, but he has become a living, breathing inspiration to millions of people all over the world! He learnt how to be able to be happy in any situation, and not let circumstances control life, but to be in control himself. He is living proof that we do not have to a victim of our circumstances or illnesses. We don’t need to wish things away – instead we can embrace what we have – the good and the bad and use it to be the best that we can be.
10. Just Breathe...
Breathing and relaxation techniques can be very helpful…when your mind wont stop spinning, sometimes it can help to pause and take your focus off the whirlwind of your thoughts. Try to redirect your focus to something else. I find focusing on my breathing helps me to slowly calm down. As I focus on ‘just being’ my thoughts slowly become less intrusive, which enables me to regain control and not let the GAD overwhelm me.
Remember that the anxiety is not YOU. Sometimes it can feel so overwhelming that it becomes all you can see or think about, but remember that although right now you may only see the negative things about yourself, there are also many positive things that you still have
Remember that the anxiety is not YOU. Sometimes it can feel so overwhelming that it becomes all you can see or think about, but remember that although right now you may only see the negative things about yourself, there are also many positive things that you still have
11. Just Feelings...
Remember at the end of the day – feelings are just feelings! They may sometimes feel overwhelming, and at times even frightening, but they can do nothing to hurt you! They may try and convince you otherwise, but remember feelings can sometimes play tricks on you and do not always represent the truth…so don’t let them take over your mind or your life.
12. Don’t Be a Prisoner of Your Own Mind
Mental illnesses like GAD can make you become overly introspective and start living inside your own head – instead of in the real world. Often GAD can make you become disengaged from life and what is going on around you – as your focus turns inwards and you easily fall into the trap of becoming a prisoner of your mind. Break free by turning your focus away from your mind and the incessant thinking… thinking… thinking… that is going on inside. Instead become more involved in what is going on around you…get involved in conversations, activities etc…at first it may be hard and feel like a uphill struggle, but keep going… it will get easier and you will start to see the difference!
13. Switch off!
Just like how every machine needs to ‘switch off’ and have a break before it overheats and explodes – so also our overtired minds sometimes need a break too! Often with GAD a racing mind is hard to stop and the more we try and stop it the more we make it work by trying to find a way to stop! Something that used to help me was to just ‘switch off’ Imagine there is a switch in your mind and you just flick it to the off mode. At first this was really tough to do and thoughts and worries kept pushing their way back in to my mind, but I kept flicking that imaginary button in my mind and the more I practised it – the better I got at it. This technique helped me to silence the deafening thoughts that kept shouting in my head and gave my mind the much needed break it wanted.
14. Take Your Life Back!
GAD can sometimes feel so overwhelming that it can seem like it has taken over your life! It can become all you think about…how to make it better…how to get rid of it… etc – but remember that you are still your own person and underneath it all you still have so much going for you! Don’t let GAD cloud your vision and stop you from seeing how much good is still left in your life. Enjoy the good things in your life, treasure the happy moments and get your life back!