Mental Health and Work Life
Haven or Hell?
Mental illness can affect every aspect of a person’s life and unfortunately work and employment is no exception. In fact, work can be one of the main things that can be significantly affected due to mental illness.
Work can either become an escape haven or a living hell. Some people find that going to work gives them a much needed distraction… a place where they can forget about their worries and bury themselves in the business of their work day. It can become a place where they can temporarily forget about their troubles and ‘just be like everyone else.’ For others, work becomes too much for them to cope with and can make them feel even more stressed and anxious, resulting in making their battle with mental illness even more distressing and difficult.
Work can either become an escape haven or a living hell. Some people find that going to work gives them a much needed distraction… a place where they can forget about their worries and bury themselves in the business of their work day. It can become a place where they can temporarily forget about their troubles and ‘just be like everyone else.’ For others, work becomes too much for them to cope with and can make them feel even more stressed and anxious, resulting in making their battle with mental illness even more distressing and difficult.
Personally...
In my own experience, I found that initially work was a really helpful escape and distraction for me and helped to take my mind off what was going on inside my mind. The busyness of the work day helped to drown out the incessant noise, thoughts and worries in my head and distracted me form the horrible feeling of anxiety, depression and anguish that I constantly felt inside. When I was at work, I didn’t talk about my troubles, and I could pretend to be ‘normal.’ It was such a good feeling…a much needed break from constantly feeling like a freak and battling within myself. Around my colleagues, I could be one of them’ and have a laugh and talk about ‘normal’ everyday things. I could temporarily escape my hellish reality and steal moments of normality back. At the same time, I felt sad inside as it almost felt like I was wearing a mask…hiding what was going on inside and only showing the outside of myself. I didn’t feel complete, it was like for me to be able to just function and get through the day, I needed to disconnect my inner self from my outer self . Sometimes I became so good at this I almost felt like a robot, feeling void and numb inside, but still functioning on autopilot outwardly. I would be so good at carrying out the motions of everyday life that people had no idea that what was going on inside. But the reality was that there was so so so much pain inside… that it felt like I was constantly screaming silently within myself, whist at the same time putting on a smile and a brave face to the world.
Time Out...
Unfortunately for me what was once a haven soon became hell. Work became so stressful, as targets were raised and more pressure was put on the work force to perform and bring in what could only be described as unrealistic and unattainable results. The mounting pressure at work compounded and added to the emotional stress I already felt inside and it got to the point when it would all become too much and I would find myself fleeing to the toilets in tears nearly everyday, unable to cope with the mounting pressures at work and the ever growing anguish inside myself. It became and harder and harder to explain to colleagues what was wrong, I didn’t want them to think differently of me…so I often explained away my tears as ‘oh you know…just personal problems’ and hoped that they wouldn’t ask too many questions. However, keeping it all in, became a pressure within itself so I found myself confiding in some of the colleagues I was closest to. Although I was afraid of what they would think of me, I found that just having someone there to listen and support me made a world of difference. Even thought they could not do much to help the situation, having someone to turn to helped to lighten the heavy burden I was constantly carrying. They also encouraged me to tell my manager what was going on so I could get the support I needed in the work place and although I refused to do so, I eventually and reluctantly did…after he found me sobbing in the filing room one day after another breakdown. Although I was afraid that my manager wouldn’t understand and that I was going to end up getting the sack, I was surprised by how patient and sensitive he was about my situation. I was very blessed to have a manager who understood that we are all human and that we all have different problems to deal with outside of work. After much discussion and thought, we both decided that the best thing to do was to lessen my work hours to help ease some of the pressure and to have regular reviews to see how I was getting on. He also suggested counselling and gave me one afternoon off a week to attend my sessions. The support and understanding I received was invaluable on my journey to recovery and I realised that without being more open about my problems, I would never have received the help that I so badly needed. Often it is so easy to become so afraid of what other people may think, that we try and hide our problems…but by opening up – we can get the help we need.
So what’s the best thing to do?
There is no right or wrong answer. Every person is different and what may help one person may not help another…
1. A Good Distraction?
If work is helping you to take your mind off things and is a good distraction, then use it to help you through your mental illness. Keeping busy and being proactive can go along way in helping you on your journey of recovery. However, be mindful not to push yourself too far and become a workaholic! This will only then have the opposite effect and can make you feel even worse. So, if work is helping - then use it! But remember to keep a healthy work/life balance and don’t forget to take time out to do things that you enjoy as well.
2. However...
However, if work is adding more stress and pressure, resulting in making your mental illness more difficult to deal with, then it may be worthwhile to take a step back and think about what is best for yourself. If you feel taking time off will help, then do so. Don’t feel bad or guilty that you may be letting people down or feel that you are a failure of any kind. Your health comes first and by doing what is best for yourself, is by no means selfish or weak. What you are doing is brave! You are taking the necessary steps to recovery. Everyone’s path to recovery is individual and unique and you need to do what is right for you, regardless of what others may think or say. At the end of the day, they are not in your position and they are not experiencing what you are going through. Only you can make the right choice for yourself.
Guilt may be a feeling you struggle with if you are considering taking some time out. Personally, when I decided that I needed time away from work, I felt incredibly guilty that my absence would mean more work on the rest of my colleagues and that I would be letting my work mates down. But when I told them how I felt, they were more concerned about my wellbeing than any work load and they actually encouraged me to take all the time I needed. Their care and concern meant a lot to me and gave me the confidence I needed to take the time out I so badly needed.
Guilt may be a feeling you struggle with if you are considering taking some time out. Personally, when I decided that I needed time away from work, I felt incredibly guilty that my absence would mean more work on the rest of my colleagues and that I would be letting my work mates down. But when I told them how I felt, they were more concerned about my wellbeing than any work load and they actually encouraged me to take all the time I needed. Their care and concern meant a lot to me and gave me the confidence I needed to take the time out I so badly needed.
3. Remember...
Mental illness is just like another other illness. Just because it’s within the mind, doesn’t mean it’s not as important as an illness of the body. If you had a flu or food poisoning or God forbidden something more serious like cancer, then your body would need the time to rest, heal and get the treatment it needs to have a chance of getting better. In the same way, if you are affected with a mental illness, you too may need the time out to let your mind heal. Counselling, taking up a hobby you enjoy, exercising, eating well, rediscovering life…all these things and more can help you on your road to emotion recovery and well being.
Advice for Colleagues
If your colleague is suffering from a mental illness what can you do to help? Below are some small things that my colleagues did for me that really helped me a lot….
Lend a ear…
Ask me how I am…even though I may not want to tell you all my problems, its still nice to know someone cares and is concerned about my well being. And its nice to that when I m ready to talk, there is someone who is there to listen! Mental illness can make suffers feel insecure and as a result have very low self esteem, so knowing someone cares and that you matter…is a huge thing.
Lend a hand…
Sometimes having a metal illness can affect a sufferer’s ability to concentrate as their mind is often elsewhere, worrying… feeling anxious… battling with their thoughts and feelings etc. Offering to help out with a task in hand would help take some of the pressure off the person and help them to get through the day without feeling overwhelmed.
Lend a kind word …
Simple things like ‘Oh you look nice today’ or ‘you did that really well’ can be incredibly encouraging and uplifting to someone who through mental illness see themselves very negatively. It may not seem like much, but trust me it can mean so much to someone and help them to see themselves more positively.
Lend some knowledge…
Giving someone with mental illness more information that could help them can be a huge support. Leaflets, support groups, phone numbers etc can help direct your colleague to get the help and support they need. Just a note…try and do this sensitively, don’t force anything on them (even if you think it’s for their own good!)
Lend a hand…
Sometimes having a metal illness can affect a sufferer’s ability to concentrate as their mind is often elsewhere, worrying… feeling anxious… battling with their thoughts and feelings etc. Offering to help out with a task in hand would help take some of the pressure off the person and help them to get through the day without feeling overwhelmed.
Lend a kind word …
Simple things like ‘Oh you look nice today’ or ‘you did that really well’ can be incredibly encouraging and uplifting to someone who through mental illness see themselves very negatively. It may not seem like much, but trust me it can mean so much to someone and help them to see themselves more positively.
Lend some knowledge…
Giving someone with mental illness more information that could help them can be a huge support. Leaflets, support groups, phone numbers etc can help direct your colleague to get the help and support they need. Just a note…try and do this sensitively, don’t force anything on them (even if you think it’s for their own good!)
Advice For Employers
Having a employee working for you that suffers from a mental illness can be a difficult situation both for yourself and your worker. Try and work with them to open up about what support they feel they need and work together to come to a compromise that you can both be happy with. A happy work force is a more productive work force, so the better the relationship you have with your employees the better all round for your work place.
1. Time to Talk...
Taking the time to have regular reviews or just quick catch-up with your employee can make a huge difference. This will enableyour employee to see that you care about their well being and any problems can be ironed out and addressed before they become bigger than they need to be.
2. Confidentiality
Maintaining your employees trust and confidentiality is very important. Mental health issues can be very difficult for the sufferer to open up about, so it is vital that they can feel like they can trust you with what they tell you and that what they say will not be repeated to anyone else. Gaining their trust means that they will feel more comfortable and willing to share more… and this way, you can both deal with the situation more openly and effectively.
3. Remember we are all human..
Although you are a manager and it may be important to maintain a sense of authority, try and relate to your employee as a person. This will help you to understand for them more and therefore to help them better. Remember that although they work for you – that is only one aspect of their life and that there are many of things going on outside their work lives that may be affecting them in ways that’s you cannot even imagine. Try and put yourself in their shoes and think of something that would really upset or affect you immensely. Now imagine how you would like to be treated by your manager if you ever found yourself in such a situation…now do the same for your employee!
1. Time to Talk...
Taking the time to have regular reviews or just quick catch-up with your employee can make a huge difference. This will enableyour employee to see that you care about their well being and any problems can be ironed out and addressed before they become bigger than they need to be.
2. Confidentiality
Maintaining your employees trust and confidentiality is very important. Mental health issues can be very difficult for the sufferer to open up about, so it is vital that they can feel like they can trust you with what they tell you and that what they say will not be repeated to anyone else. Gaining their trust means that they will feel more comfortable and willing to share more… and this way, you can both deal with the situation more openly and effectively.
3. Remember we are all human..
Although you are a manager and it may be important to maintain a sense of authority, try and relate to your employee as a person. This will help you to understand for them more and therefore to help them better. Remember that although they work for you – that is only one aspect of their life and that there are many of things going on outside their work lives that may be affecting them in ways that’s you cannot even imagine. Try and put yourself in their shoes and think of something that would really upset or affect you immensely. Now imagine how you would like to be treated by your manager if you ever found yourself in such a situation…now do the same for your employee!