GAD and Relationships
My Story
G.A.D can affect all areas of a person’s life, but most particularly – relationships. Relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and loved ones…can all become affected by this cruel condition. G.A.D can cause sufferers to have very low self esteem and lead them to feel very insecure about themselves and their relationships with others. This can lead to sufferers being more needy, paranoid or suspicious and feeling the need to constantly seek reassurance. This may inevitably put a huge strain on relationships, which is difficult for both the sufferer and the loved one.
Personally, I found that G.A.D had a devastating effect on many of my relationships. I started isolating myself from family and friends, because I couldn’t deal with my anxiety and found it difficult to hide it from them. The strain of trying to appear ‘normal’ around people was so hard, that I resorted to hiding myself away in my room to avoid contact with anyone. I was lonely and desperately wanted to enjoy the close relationship I once had with my family and friends, but felt like there was a huge wall between us…they were normal – and I was not. Even when I tried my best to join in, I still felt like I was never ‘full there.’ - my body was present, but my mind was elsewhere…worrying, ruminating and desperately trying to find a way to escape the pain I felt inside. I felt like my constant state of anxiety and depression was dragging everyone around me down and I believed they were all better off without me. Worse still, my relationship with my fiancé was completely falling apart. My G.A.D made me feel insecure about myself and my relationship and I found myself being needy and constantly needing reassurance. I was constantly asking my poor fiancé (bless him) endless questions in a never ending quest to feel secure about myself and our relationship. Even though I knew my behaviour was destroying our relationship, I couldn’t stop it. The feeling of having no control over my emotions and actions only added to my anxiety and depression. It felt like my life was falling apart bit by bit, I was drifting further and further away from my family, friends and loved on, whilst at the same time self destructing under the strain of G.A.D.
Personally, I found that G.A.D had a devastating effect on many of my relationships. I started isolating myself from family and friends, because I couldn’t deal with my anxiety and found it difficult to hide it from them. The strain of trying to appear ‘normal’ around people was so hard, that I resorted to hiding myself away in my room to avoid contact with anyone. I was lonely and desperately wanted to enjoy the close relationship I once had with my family and friends, but felt like there was a huge wall between us…they were normal – and I was not. Even when I tried my best to join in, I still felt like I was never ‘full there.’ - my body was present, but my mind was elsewhere…worrying, ruminating and desperately trying to find a way to escape the pain I felt inside. I felt like my constant state of anxiety and depression was dragging everyone around me down and I believed they were all better off without me. Worse still, my relationship with my fiancé was completely falling apart. My G.A.D made me feel insecure about myself and my relationship and I found myself being needy and constantly needing reassurance. I was constantly asking my poor fiancé (bless him) endless questions in a never ending quest to feel secure about myself and our relationship. Even though I knew my behaviour was destroying our relationship, I couldn’t stop it. The feeling of having no control over my emotions and actions only added to my anxiety and depression. It felt like my life was falling apart bit by bit, I was drifting further and further away from my family, friends and loved on, whilst at the same time self destructing under the strain of G.A.D.
http://gad.about.com/od/selfhelp/a/relprobs.htm
If you find yourself becoming paranoid or suspicious about your relationship, remember that it may be fueled by your anxiety, and allow yourself to explore for any hard data that may support your worry.
People with GAD often worry that they are too “needy” in relationships. This is usually thought of as needing constant reassurance and having a partner regularly prove that things are OK.
If this is true for you, finding ways to cope with your anxiety and relying more on yourself for feeling better can take the pressure off your partner. It also allows you to become more self-sufficient, even in anxiety. For example, instead of needing your partner for comfort each time you are anxious, try to reassure yourself and take some thoughtful action.
Anxiety can create states that are so intolerable that we are compelled to take actions that are impulsive and misguided. In relationships, this could mean some sort of acting out that is destructive, quickly jumping to conclusions, or making decisions that will not bring desired results. If you find that your anxiety makes you impulsive in relationships, it can be important to slow down, be still, and think through anything you are doing. If it is simply just to relieve anxiety, try and find a better solution that won’t result in increased problems and stress.
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,4049.0.html
http://web4health.info/en/answers/anx-generalized-anxiety-syndrom.htm
Think about, and write down, which areas and situations the worry and the anxiety are mostly concerned with.
Excessive thinking and dwelling on the "what ifs" characterizes this anxiety disorder.
As a result, the person feels there’s no way out of the vicious cycle of anxiety and worry, and then becomes depressed about life and the state of anxiety they find themselves in.
It’s the thinking, thinking, thinking, dwelling, dwelling, ruminating, ruminating, and inability to shut the mind off that so incapacitates the person. At other times, thoughts seem almost non-existent because the anxious feelings are so dominant. Feelings of worry, dread, lack of energy, and a loss of interest in life are common. Many times there is no "trigger" or "cause" for these feelings and the person realizes these feelings are irrational. Nevertheless, the feelings are very real. At this point, there is no "energy" or "zest" in life and no desire to want to do much.
If you find yourself becoming paranoid or suspicious about your relationship, remember that it may be fueled by your anxiety, and allow yourself to explore for any hard data that may support your worry.
People with GAD often worry that they are too “needy” in relationships. This is usually thought of as needing constant reassurance and having a partner regularly prove that things are OK.
If this is true for you, finding ways to cope with your anxiety and relying more on yourself for feeling better can take the pressure off your partner. It also allows you to become more self-sufficient, even in anxiety. For example, instead of needing your partner for comfort each time you are anxious, try to reassure yourself and take some thoughtful action.
Anxiety can create states that are so intolerable that we are compelled to take actions that are impulsive and misguided. In relationships, this could mean some sort of acting out that is destructive, quickly jumping to conclusions, or making decisions that will not bring desired results. If you find that your anxiety makes you impulsive in relationships, it can be important to slow down, be still, and think through anything you are doing. If it is simply just to relieve anxiety, try and find a better solution that won’t result in increased problems and stress.
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,4049.0.html
http://web4health.info/en/answers/anx-generalized-anxiety-syndrom.htm
Think about, and write down, which areas and situations the worry and the anxiety are mostly concerned with.
- Learn to notice and challenge classical cognitive traps. One example of a cognitive trap is overgeneralization. A woman who overgeneralizes comes to the conclusion, after being turned down on the dance floor once, that she will never find a man. Another example is catastrophic thinking, which is characterized by always expecting the worst to happen. Yet another example is selective perception, which means that you only notice things around you that confirm your pet worry.
Excessive thinking and dwelling on the "what ifs" characterizes this anxiety disorder.
As a result, the person feels there’s no way out of the vicious cycle of anxiety and worry, and then becomes depressed about life and the state of anxiety they find themselves in.
It’s the thinking, thinking, thinking, dwelling, dwelling, ruminating, ruminating, and inability to shut the mind off that so incapacitates the person. At other times, thoughts seem almost non-existent because the anxious feelings are so dominant. Feelings of worry, dread, lack of energy, and a loss of interest in life are common. Many times there is no "trigger" or "cause" for these feelings and the person realizes these feelings are irrational. Nevertheless, the feelings are very real. At this point, there is no "energy" or "zest" in life and no desire to want to do much.